Searching for Normalcy

"And finally, above all else, it is about leaving a mark that I existed: I was here. I was hungry. I was defeated. I was happy. I was sad. I was in love. I was afraid. I was hopeful. I had an idea and I had a good purpose and that’s why I made works of art…" – Felix Gonzalez-Torres

free zoo day! September 29, 2008

Filed under: Photography — Lulu @ 5:34 pm

(WARNING: I don’t feel like writing so prepare yourselves for a photo heavy post!)

My sister called last week to let me know that Smithsonian Magazine was sponsoring free admission for museums and other educational facilities on Saturday, September 27th. Fanless and I had no plans for the weekend other than hanging out and watching movies, so we decided to go to the Miami MetroZoo. He has never been there and the fact that it was free made it too good to pass up.

(I don’t know why I’m squinting; it wasn’t even sunny out.)

I told Tere about it and she met us there with Max (the cutest little monkey in the whole zoo!)

A few animal pics…

Rosie by you.

Giraffe by you.

Awww... by you.

Afterwards we enjoyed a yummy Mexican lunch at Guadalajara Restaurant in Pinecrest. By the time Fanless and I got back to his place we were so tired, we could barely stay awake. I ended up napping (for like FOUR hours) on the couch. Overall, it was a fun day and it was cool to do something outside our usual routine.


(browser) window shopping September 24, 2008

Filed under: Shopping — Lulu @ 5:38 pm

How gorgeous is this Collage Press Camden paper pack? (

I wish it got cold enough here to justify getting these! Sixty bucks, yo! (

LOVE the color of this lovely. (

I NEED these. LIke right now! Cute, right? (NIck & Nora, Target)

These posters make me happy just looking at them. They would look beauti-mous right over my bed! (

And these! These just make me giddy (don’t worry – they are for regular pierced ears; they just LOOK scary). (Organiclove on


spoken word wednesday September 17, 2008

Filed under: Spoken Word Wednesday — Lulu @ 5:42 pm

I’ve actually met Will Da Real One a few times (he’s from Miami) and he is a really sweet, soft-spoken guy. Which is why I find his poetry so amazing and powerful. He really leaves his heart on the stage.

Also, this is for Fanless, since he reminded me that I haven’t posted any poetry in a few weeks. =)

"Diary of the Reformed" Will Da Real One Bell


central america is how many hours away?

Filed under: Life,Personal — Lulu @ 5:40 pm

Today I took a lunch break (something I rarely do) and ventured out to run a few errands. I dropped off some items at the post office. I picked up a prescription and a compact at CVS. I stopped into the grocery store to pick up a few essentials.

I was walking down the frozen food aisle, and I crossed carts with an older lady. As I stood behind her, off to the side, trying to decide between the Lean Cuisine swedish meatballs or the cannelloni, I felt there was something familiar about her. I looked over at her – her back was to me – trying to figure out what it could be. She was tiny, barely 5′ 1," with short hair. It was light in color, like wheat if it had been bleached. She was wearing stretchy, dark-blue pants with a coordinating striped top and sensible shoes. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

Then it dawned on me.

She reminded me of my mother.

Then my eyes welled up. And I had to step forward and open one of the freezer doors so the blast of cold air could dry my eyes.

Yes. I almost lost it at Publix, halfway between the DiGiorno pizzas and the Weight Watchers two-point entrees. At that point, I grabbed a couple of boxes of Lean Cuisine, threw them in my cart and hauled ass over to the produce section before I could be declared certifiable.

Damn, I really miss my mom. I hate Panama so much right now.


i heart walking September 15, 2008

Filed under: Life,Personal — Lulu @ 5:45 pm

I tend not to live a life of regret. I always say everything happens for a reason (no really; I alwayssay it) because I truly believe that. Every thing that happens to us in life, every experience, is there to serve as a lesson. Unfortunately, sometimes there are situations that exist outside of us, outside our reach, and we have no control over them. Yet their impact on us is undeniable. And these things, sadly, are the ones I regret.

Fanless’ dad passed away on May 26, 2008. We were at his place hanging out, watching movies or something, when he got the phone call from his cousin in Washington. When he relayed the message to me, my heart immediately broke. It broke for my boy, for his loss and the void this loss would surely create. It broke for his mom, who would now have to deal with the pain of losing her high school sweetheart, her "other half" of almost 40 years. And selfishly, it broke for me, as the realization dawned on me that I would never have the opportunity to meet this man, this person that had such a huge part in making the boy I love the person he is today.

His dad was only 58 years old. His death was due to an acute myocardial infarction (or as the boy put it "Those are fancy words for a heart attack.")

A heart attack. At 58. Whaa–?? As it turns out, that’s not so uncommon. According to the American Heart Association’s 2008 statistics, one in three American adults have one or more types of cardiovascular disease. Nearly 2,400 Americans die of cardiovascular disease every DAY. Did you catch that? Not every year, not every month… EVERY DAY. That’s an average of one death every 37 seconds. The easiest way to fight heart disease is no big mystery: maintain a healthy lifestyle. Eat healthier foods and exercise. That’s it. Trust me, I know – easier said than done! But I think it’s worth the effort to at least try.

A few weeks ago Tere approached me about forming a team for the American Heart Association’s Miami-Dade Start! Heart Walk. A team in honor of the boy’s father. Although I was very enthusiastic about it, I was nervous about asking him. I didn’t know if he would feel weird about it, about the focus it would put on him and his family. I broached the topic with him cautiously, not sure what his reaction might be. Luckily, he was okay with it. And so a walk team has begun to form.

Thanks to Tere, who took it upon herself to captain the team, emails have been sent and friends have agreed to take part in this event. So on October 11th, the boy and I, along with our friends, will join participants from all over South Florida at Tropical Park in Miami to walk in honor of their friends and family members, to promote and raise awareness of heart disease and its impact on everyones’ lives.

And I will be walking in honor of the most important man I will never meet. And that is one thing I regret greatly.



the him quiz September 4, 2008

Filed under: Miscellany,Random Thoughts — Lulu @ 5:47 pm

Okay, this is a pretty fun little meme! Basically it’s a quiz to see how well you know your husband/boyfriend/etc. This should be pretty interesting because even though Fanless and I were really good friends before, we’ve only been dating a few months.

I’d love to see my bloggy girlfriends post this on their blogs if they want to play along!

1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
Motocross or Nascar racing, some kind of action sports show (like BMX freestyle or snowboarding), football, Ice Road Truckers, or something on the History Channel

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
I think the only time we’ve had salad was at Flanigan’s and that was ceasar. But I think he would pick ranch?

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
Cakes. Well, not that he doesn’t like them; more like he could take it or leave it. Otherwise he’s actually a pretty good eater (I’m the picky one). Oh! And plantains (I know!!)

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order?
Blue Moon

5. Where did he go to high school?
Othello Senior High??

6. What size shoe does he wear?

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Easy – Biking and computer magazines, and BMX bikes.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Roast Beef with the works from Le Sandwicherie on SoBe

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
Wings. Either from Hooter’s or Shucker’s

10. What is his favorite cereal?
I just asked him this the other day! He doesn’t really like cereal.

11. What would he never wear?
A belt! =)

12. What is his favorite sports team?
Seattle Seahawks

13. Who will he vote for?

14. Who is his best friend?

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do? 
Ask him a ton of questions!

16. How many states has he lived in?
Oh, this is a hard one… I think.. 4?? MD, CA, WA & FL?

17. What is his heritage?
Mexican and German

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
He doesn’t like cake that much, but if I’M baking it, it would be red velvet! 😉

19. Did he play sports in high school?
Hmm, not sure… I don’t think so. Not team sports anyway, but I know he snowboards.

20. What could he spend hours doing?
surfing the internet, watching motocross or football.